IYH Wrestling

Message Board
It is currently Thu Feb 20, 2020 3:21 pm

All times are UTC [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2016 4:45 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 8:27 am
Posts: 283
Location: London, KY
FADE IN:

INT. IYH STUDIOS - SANDWICH, MS - NIGHT

Jack, President Clinton and Flea sit around the IYH control
center.

JACK
Hello and welcome in In Your Head
Wrestling Radio. I am your host,
Handsome Jack E. Jones. Here with
my new right hand man.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
The Commander and Chief of Kick
Ass, the Puma of Pelvic Pulsation
President Clinton.

JACK
Before we get started, I wanted
to address some of the rumors
that have been flying around here
in the headyverse. I know everyone
out there has been concerned about
the Incher. Rumors are flying
rampant out there. I heard the
Incher ran off with Annabelle.
Another rumor has President
Clinton killing off Incher like
the Clinton's have made so many
disappear before.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Hasn't been proven.

JACK
One rumor said Incher died while
trying to give himself a blow job.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
I heard that one. Heard he died
in Nam too.

JACK
Well I'm here to disparage all
those rumors. I'm here to put it
all to rest. The truth may not be
as exciting. It may not be as
happening. It may not be what the
kids want to hear. But here it
is... He just didn't show up. He quit.
We waited for weeks with the
(MORE)

2.


JACK (CONT'D)
President filling in, hoping that
Incher would come back. He just
never did.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Yep.

JACK
He pulled a Barbie. Barbie did
the show with us for years. He
was an asshole who sucked real
bad. But we kept him on. Mostly
due to Incher. Then one day, no
show. Barbie never came back.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Limey bastard.

JACK
Then the Incher. My right hand
man. My partner in crime for over
a decade. One of the founding
fathers.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
I can't even say that.

JACK
Does the show for ten fucking
years and then poof. The lazy
bastard pulls a Barbie. You may
ask yourself, how do you know
something didn't happen to him?
How do you know the Inchers okay?

PRESIDENT CLINTON
ESPN?

JACK
The same way, I know Barbie is
alive. The same way I know Barbie
is okay. Not because the
insensitive bastards were
thoughtful enough to give me a
call and tell me. Not because
they put in a two weeks notice or
stayed in touch. I know they're
both alive because they're still
active on the facebook. That's it!

3.


PRESIDENT CLINTON
That's why ladies and gentleman,
when you go on about how great
the Incher was, that's fine. He
was a big part of the show for
many years. I'm glad that each
and everyone of you out there
like him. But don't feel bad about
not being able to keep up with
him week to week. Cause he's a
fucking quitting bastard.

JACK
Oh man! I got my new right hand
man here now with the President.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Yes you do.

JACK
It took a President to replace
the Incher.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
And soon to be first lady.

JACK
Yeah.
(chuckles)
It's nice to have a partner that
actually watches the wrestling.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Kind of a requirement to podcast
about wrestling.

JACK
You'd think. And not only do I
have the President here. President
Clinton who's filled in for years
when the Incher or I couldn't do
the show. We also have a new fill-
in person in case Clinton or I
ever have to miss the show. Making
his Triumphant return to In Your
Head, is one of the original IYH
Wrestling fans. Ladies and
gentleman the Flea.

FLEA
Hey, great to be back everybody.

4.


JACK
The Flea has been the co-host on
our sister show Without Your Head
for years.

FLEA
Yep.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
He has many years Podcasting
experience.

FLEA
I sure do.

JACK
He's a wrestling fan!

FLEA
Eh, somewhat.

JACK
He's a ringer!

FLEA
(laughs)
That's me.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Just like Johnny Knoxville in
that bad, bad movie.

FLEA
Guys, I wanted to just say how
happy I am to join the crew for
this very special IYH and to fill
in for you guys in the future.

JACK
Yeah.

Flea takes a drag from his cigarette

JIMMY JAM (OS)
I miss Incher.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Jimmy Jam, you're suppose to wait
for us to call on you before you
talk on the line.

5.


JACK
While no one can ever replace the
Incher. He left the show! We've
moved on. Incher was...

The Inchers sword slices through the air from out of nowhere,
cleanly removing Flea's head. Flea's head spins through the
air landing on the IYH soundboard. His body remains seated,
not moving an inch in his seat. Cigarette smoke simultaneously
comes from the mouth of Flea's decapitated head as well as
the neck where his head was once attached.

JACK
Oh man! They just cut Flea's head
off.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Talk about Without Your Head!

JACK
My brothers head it literally
sitting right in front of me on a
table. Flea?

Jack reaches forward toughing Flea's face.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Maybe we should break.

JACK
You killed Flea, you BASTARDS!

President Clinton reaches for the controls to send the show
to break. Inchers sword meets Clinton's hand.

INCHER
So the Incher disappeared did he?

JACK
Incher?

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Incher I...

INCHER
You just thought you could give
me the Barbie treatment, like I
just packed my bags and went home.
I spent 10 years doing this
fucking show.

JACK
Why did you kill Flea!

6.


INCHER
The same reason I'm gonna kill
you, you rapist, sadistic mother
fucker. Did you tell the listeners
about that!?

JACK
Flea didn't rape you! Flea didn't
do anything!

INCHER
Oh yeah Jack? Do hotel rooms
usually come ready to tie someone
up and rape them? Maybe yours do.
When we got to the hotel room,
why was Flea so adamant about me
not going to the room? Huh?

JACK
Oh man. Did you have to kill him!
All he knew was that after several
years we were going to consummate
our love for one another.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Incher I...

INCHER
Shut up Clinton.

JACK
He didn't know you weren't there
willingly! Hell, I didn't know
you'd react like this. Hell man,
I thought you were just repressed!
Why else would you do a podcast
with another guy for 10 years
about wrestling for free unless
you secretly loved him?

INCHER
(bending down into
Jacks face)
I do it because I'm a hard
podcaster!

JACK
Do you remember the PG days of
WWE? That was torture.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
Incher, I didn't know you weren't
there willingly.

7.


INCHER
He fed me shit Pres! He hooked me
into a human centipede against my
will and shit into my mouth.

PRESIDENT CLINTON
(laughs)
Incher I'm sorry.

With a swipe of his blade, Clinton begins bleeding profusely
down his neck from the cut Incher's blade left there.

INCHER
Do you know what it's like to be
forced to eat shit?

President Clinton tries to talk, while grasping at his throat
but only more blood comes out.

JACK
Why did you kill Clinton!?!?

INCHER
You shoved a cigar up my ass!

JACK
That's what he does!

INCHER
Not to my ass! Not if he wants to
live.

JACK
He didn't know you were there
against your will! He was drunk
off his ass!

INCHER
Another reason he doesn't deserve
to live. He's not straight edge!
What contributions have his drunk
ass made to this world?

JACK
He was President of the United
States!

President Clinton, looking pale and deathly grabs his
alcoholic beverage from the table. He takes a drink but the
alcohol just runs out his new neck wound. Clinton grasps at
the alcohol leaking from him and tries pushing it back up
into his neck.

8.


PRESIDENT CLINTON
(cries)


Clinton, knowing he'll never be able to drink again. He pulls
out a .47 Magnum from seemingly nowhere and blows his brains
out at the thought of never being able to drink again.

Blood and brains splatter the studio covering Jacks face.
Jack screams like a girl. Incher turns his sword to Jack.

INCHER
Now it's your turn to die.

ANNABELLE (OS)
(Screams like a
Banshee)
Nobody hurts my Jack.

Annabelle runs towards incher with a battle ax. Incher reacts
quickly swinging around to one knee, inserting his blade
through her gut.

JACK
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Annabelle deflates as she crumble to the ground, letting out
a death cry. The sound of air like coming from a balloon
comes out of her as Incher removes his sword.

Jack stands up, reaching to his ass, he pulls out a 15 inch
pink dildo that's apparently been up there the entire time.

JACK
You son of a bitch!

Jack slings the shit covered behemoth at Incher who's still
on his knees. Incher gets his sword up just in time to
deflect it. Shit from the dildo splatters Inchers cheek.

JACK
You killed the only woman, who'd
ever fuck me!

Jack brings the dildo over head slinging it down again at
the Incher. Incher blocks with his sword. Both of inchers
hands on the blade preventing the dildo from hitting him.
Jack bears down on the dildo pressing Inchers sword closer
to Inchers chest. The dildo hanging over the blade almost
poking Incher in the face with it's shit covered tip. Incher
turns his head to avoid it.

Incher Powergoats up, pushing Jack off with all his energy
and gets back to both feet.

9.


INCHER
You say you love me and you force
me to eat your shit. You say you
love her and she's with you
willingly.

JACK
She ate my shit willingly! You do
that if you love someone!

Jack brings the dildo down, which incher deflects with his
sword. Incher swings for Jacks head but it's stopped by the
massive dildo as Jack raises it, blocking the sword.

INCHER
You know what I'm gonna do after
I'm done with you?

JACK
Nothing, because you're gonna be
dead?

INCHER
I'm gonna go upstairs and fuck
your mother!

JACK
Oh man! You son of a bitch!

Jack does a leg sweep which Incher jumps to avoid. Incher
comes down directly at Jack's head with the sword! Jack does
a quick dildo uppercut to Inchers balls. The death swing of
the sword quickly turns into Incher grabbing his balls.

INCHER
My balls! You son of a bitch!

Jack swings at the Inchers head, knocking him out with the
dildo. Incher crumbles to the ground.

JACK
Fuck my mother now bitch!

Jack drags Inchers unconscious body across the IYH studio
floor. He grabs a cord and begins to tie the Incher up.
Gaining consciousness, Incher rolls quickly, punching Jack
square in the balls. Jack crumbles to the ground clutching
his nuts. He collapses onto the floor, on his back laying
next to Incher. Both men, nurturing their balls.

10.


JACK
Incher, what do you say we call
it even? I was misguided. We can
get a fresh start. Together like
old times?

Incher turns on his side facing Jack.

INCHER
Jack,
(Incher punches him in
the face)
fuck you!

Incher climbs up straddling Jack's stomach and begins raining
down the punches. He pummels Jack's face. Raining down punch
after punch. Jack doesn't move, unconscious. Like Ralphy in
A Christmas Story, Incher just loses it. By the time Incher's
energy is gone and he stops, Jack's face is a bloody, barely
recognizable mess.

Taking a breath Inchers seemingly stops. Jack gurgle up some
blood which reinvigorates the Incher. Incher wraps his hands
around Jack's throat, squeezing non-stop. Jack spits up some
blood and wriggles underneath Inchers hands before his body
stops jerking and the breath in him stops coming out.

Incher doesn't let go. He squeezes harder and harder before
relenting, crashing over to his back crying.

INCHER
Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh!

Incher gets to his feet. He looks around the IYH studios.
Empty with nothing but dead bodies, it just doesn't seem the
same. He crashes into Jack E. Jones's chair.

INCHER
I'm not sure where I go from here.

Incher puts his head in his hands.

BARBIE
Wherever you want Incher. Wherever
you want.

INCHER
Barb?

BARBIE
Did you think I'd miss this?

11.


INCHER
I didn't expect you to come to
the U.S.

BARBIE
Did you really think I'd miss the
end of Jack E. Jones? Do you know
how long I've waited for this?

INCHER
Yeah, I guess. I just didn't
expect it. I'm happy to see you
Barb.

Barbie walks to Incher, placing his hand on Incher's shoulder.

BARBIE
I'm happy to see you too man.

INCHER
I feel kinda lost, now that it's
over.

BARBIE
The funny thing about revenge, it
can be satisfying but also leave
you without purpose.

INCHER
I can't go home Barb.

BARBIE
Home is where you are Incher.

Barb waves his hand around the IYH studio.

BARBIE
What do you say ten years later,
we take over In Your Head? Just
the two of us.

Incher looks around again at everything in the studio.

INCHER
You think we can?

BARBIE
I know we can Inch-Daddy!

INCHER
Yeah... Yeah... Let's do it!

12.


BARBIE
That's what I want to hear. What
do you say we get out of here?
Take me out for some good old
American food?

INCHER
Sure Barbie.

Incher gets up putting his arm around his British buddy. The
two start to walk for the door. Barb stops.

BARBIE
Wait, Incher. There's something I
got to do before we leave.

Barbie walks over to Jack's body. He pulls out his dick and
pisses all over Jack.

BARBIE
(pissing)
Oh my god Incher this is more
satisfying than sex. You gotta
try it.

Zombie Jack sits up biting off Barbie's pissing dick.

BARBIE
(screams)


Barbie pulls away. His dick hanging sideways in Jack's mouth
like a dog with a bone. Piss still coming out of the end.

Zombie Jack chews the weiner. Barb starts to leave and Zombie
Jack sinks his teeth into Barbie's nuts stopping him.

BARBIE
(screams)
Fuck my nuts!

Barbie has to pulls his sack off to get out of the grasp of
Zombie Jack. Zombie Jack chews Barbs nuts, semen squirting
out of his zombie mouth.

INCHER
Oh my god! Barbie!!!!

Barbie walks towards Incher his arms reaching out, blood
pooring from his crotch.

BARBIE
Incher...

13.


JACK
(zombie growls)


Barbie reaches Incher grasping onto him.

BARBIE
Greg Price was right. He sold his
soul to the devil.

Barbie collapses onto Incher unconscious. Zombie Jack slowly
walks closer to them. Incher has no option but to release
Barb's body to the floor. Incher starts backing away from
Zombie Jack.

Zombie Jack reaches Barb's body and begins pulling out his
intestines through his crotch eating them. Incher continues
to back up when he's grabbed from behind by Annabelle.

ANNABELLE
(zombie growls)


Blood squirts out of the hole Incher left in her with his
sword.

INCHER
(screams)


He pushes Zombiebelle off, retreating backwards into the IYH
studio's storage closet.

CUT TO:

INT. IYH STUDIO CLOSET - NIGHT

He slams the door bracing his foot in front of it.

INCHER
Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh man!

Incher puts his head in his hands.

INCHER
What's this world come to? Where's
my sword?

Incher braces the door tightly, scared to death.

14.


INCHER
What am I gonna do? What am I
gonna do? This is worse than being
at the Wendy's after the football
teams rolled through, eating the
chili and not having any wet wipes
handy.

Incher gets quiet and listens... Nothing is coming from
outside. He musters up the courage to release his feet
pressed against the closet door. Incher rolls around like a
pig onto his belly peeking under the closet door.

He sees a blood stained floor and Barbies body. The zombies
aren't eating him anymore. In the distance is a shiny gleam.
The blade of his sword in the distance, on the ground.

Zombies growl in the distance. Incher scatters fearful.
Incher stops himself mid-scare. He musters up the courage
again to look under the door. Just as he gets his head to
the door, he sees two sets of zombie feet coming at him as
zombie Jack and Annabelle pounce into the door.

Incher, scrambles back to his sitting position with his feet
pressed firmly against the supply closet door.

The zombies continue to thud against the door.

INCHER
Alright you pussy. Alright. Get
it together you sorry sack of
shit. It's just zombies. It's
just fucking zombies...
(Incher begins to cry)
Get it together. Get it together.

Incher wipes at his face. The zombies thud lighter at the door.

INCHER
When they move, make a break for
your sword and slice them up.
Just cut em to pieces. Use what
Barb taught you. Fuck me, Barb's
dead...
(trying to boost his
confidence)
They're probably just slow Romero
zombies. Stupid as fuck and slower
than me trying to jackoff to naked
pictures of Nia Jax.
(shivers disgusted)
I killed her though... I chopped
her up good. Now that's something
I can jackoff too.

15.


Incher shakes off his little imaginary tangent of Nia Jax's
death. He goes quiet, listening. There's nothing. He scoots
down to look under the door again. No zombie feet.

Incher raises to a crouched position by the door. One deep
breath, two deep breaths, three deep breaths, he twists the
door handle and rolls back out into the IYH studio.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. IYH STUDIO - NIGHT

Barrel rolling not even halfway to the sword, Incher barrel
rolls again. He rolls through, back into a crouched position.
Still a good distance away, Incher dives at the sword. He
lands, still 10 feet away from the sword in a very anti-
climatic effort to reach it. He belly crawls military style
the rest of the way.

Grabbing his sword, Incher gets back to his feet. His sword
raised and ready to swing as he looks around for the zombies
and getting his bearings. The Zombies are nowhere to be seen.

INCHER
Hello?

He looks around.

INCHER
Hello?

He hears grunts from a distance. Incher begins edging towards
the sound, sword still raised to swing.

INCHER
Oh my god!

Zombie Jack has zombie Annabelle bent of the IYH studio
soundboard table banging her from behind. Annabelle has a
bored look upon her face as if she were held there against
her will but it not really bothering her, definitely not
pleasing her.

Zombie Jack looks up and smiles pleased with himself. Drool
comes out of his mouth as he smiles.

Incher runs up to the pair.

INCHER
(samurai growl)


Inchers blade comes down removing Annabelle's head. It rolls
down the table, sitting up in the middle, right next to Flea's.

16.


Zombie Jack continues to bang her headless body. Blood
squirts out in spurts from her neck, onto the table with
each thrust from Jack from behind.

Incher turns his blade, pointing it at Jack.

INCHER
I loved you man.

Incher runs his sword through Jack. Seeming to not care,
Zombie Jack continues fucking headless Annabelle.

INCHER
(laughs)
Oh yeah, you're a zombie.

Incher removes his blade from Jack's torso and inserts it
between Jack's eyes.

JACK
(zombie growls)
Oh man...

Jack's body collapses to the ground. Inchers sword slices
Jack's head in half as his body goes down.

INCHER
You went out while fucking buddy.
I think that's how you would have
wanted to go.

Incher lowers his sword. He slumbers over to Barbie's body.
He collapses to his knees.

INCHER
I'm sorry Barb. I'm sorry I got
you involved. I'm sorry I got you
killed.

BARBIE
It's okay, Incher.

INCHER
BARBIE! You're alive!

Barbie lays on the ground unmoving. His crotch area covered
in blood, intestines pulled out to the floor.

Barbie coughs up blood.

17.


BARBIE
Not for long. But it's not your
fault. I trained you because I
wanted you to kill him. It
fulfilled my life.

INCHER
Hang on Barb, I'll get you to a
doctor.

BARBIE
Don't bother Incher. I don't have
a dick. I don't wanna live without
a dick.

INCHER
Barb?

BARBIE
Yes, Incher?

INCHER
Are you gonna turn into a zombie?
Cause you were bit.

BARBIE
I don't know Incher. I don't think
so. I don't think he was a
traditional zombie.

INCHER
No?

BARBIE
I don't think so. I think Jack
made a deal with the devil, or
whoever to be immortal. I'd
suspected that for years. He just
got fucked on the deal. I don't
think her knew whoever he made
the deal with intended to make
him a zombie. But who knows.

INCHER
Are you sure I can't get you to a
hospital?

BARBIE
No, but you can get me one thing
Incher.

INCHER
What's that Barb?

18.


BARBIE
I could use a toke before I die.

INCHER
I'm straight edge Barb. I don't
have anything.

BARBIE
My bongs by the door.

INCHER
You brought your bong to the states?

BARBIE
I'd never leave home without it.

Incher retrieves Barb's bong. Incher hold it to Barbs mouth,
lighting it for him. Barb takes a toke. The two lay on the
floor like Riggs and Murtaugh in Lethal Weapon 2.

BARBIE
(coughs)
Oh it hurts where my dick should
be..
(laughs)


INCHER
(laughs)


JIMMY JAM (OS)
Hello??? Are you guys there???

THE END

ROLL CREDITS

_________________
Wrestling fan from 1986-2002, 2013-????
I've always wanted to like wrestling. Sometimes it's just hard.


Last edited by Jipper on Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2016 4:46 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 8:27 am
Posts: 283
Location: London, KY
AS THE CREDITS ROLL

INT. IYH STUDIO - NIGHT

Incher pushes Zombiebelle off, retreating backwards into the
IYH studio's storage closet.

CUT TO:

INT. IYH STUDIO CLOSET - NIGHT

INCHER
Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh man!

Incher puts his head in his hands.

CUT BACK TO:

19.


INT. IYH STUDIO - NIGHT

Zombiebelle scratches and moans at the closet door Incher
just went inside. She hangs her head knowing she can't get
inside.

JACK
(zombie growls)


Zombiebelle turns he attentions to Zombie Jack. Zombie Jack
is holding up some of Barbie's intestines from the floor,
offering them to her.

Zombiebelle walks over, grabbing the intestines and joining
the fest.

BARBIE
Oh god it hurts so much. Just
kill me.

The two zombies continue to eat.

BARBIE
Jack, you fat fucking zombie
bastard. Kill me already.

Growing tired of the of the British ramblings reaches forward,
thwacking Barbie over the head knocking him out.

Zombiebell continues to feast. Jack reaches forward grabbing
her breast. She shrugs him off. Zombie Jack moves forward
nibbling her neck.

ANNABELLE
(zombie growls)


Jack backs off. Zombie Jack pounces on her, grabbing and
groping.

Zombiebelle gets to her feet, getting away from Zombie Jack's
advances. Jack follows. Zombie Jack catches her and the two
thud into the closet door. Jack mauling at her ass.

CUT TO:

INT. IYH STUDIO CLOSET - NIGHT

Incher, scrambles back to his sitting position with his feet
pressed firmly against the supply closet door.

CUT BACK TO:

20.


INT. IYH STUDIO - NIGHT

Zombie Jack ribs at Zombiebelle's skirt. She pushes him off.
Zombiebelle scurries off in a slow zombie form, once again
getting away from Zombie Jack.

Zombie Jack catches up with her again at the IYH control
center table. She backs up against the table, sitting on it.
Jack pushes right up on her. Her grabs at her boobs. She
pushes his hands off.

ANNABELLE
(zombie growls)


JACK
(zombie growls)


Zombiebelle motions her hand towards her mouth, showing him
she wants food not his advances.

Zombie Jack unzips his pants, pulling his dick out, offering
that for her mouth.

ANNABELLE
(zombie growls)


Zombiebelle looks back at him disgusted.

Zombie Jack gets a bright idea. Jack motions, thrusting his
hips forwards sexually. Then he motions, hand to mouth like
Zombiebelle did. His way of offering food for sex. Zombiebelle
nods, turns herself around, bending over the table. Zombie
Jack looks thrilled and goes right in.

Zombie Jack hears Incher and looks up. He smiles pleased
with himself. Drool comes out of his mouth as he smiles.

Incher runs up to the pair.

INCHER
(samurai growl)


Inchers blade comes down removing Annabelle's head. It rolls
down the table, sitting up in the middle, right next to Flea's.

END CREDITS

_________________
Wrestling fan from 1986-2002, 2013-????
I've always wanted to like wrestling. Sometimes it's just hard.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2016 4:49 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 8:27 am
Posts: 283
Location: London, KY
INT. IYH STUDIOS - NIGHT

The studio is all cleaned up now. Barbie and Incher sit at
the IYH control center table. Barbie has a massive wrap
around his crotch area.

INCHER
Alrigh, we're back! Welcome
everyone to the revammed In Your
Head Wrestling Radio. I'm your
host with the mostest, the new
internet icon, One Inch Biceps,
The POWERGOAT!!! I'm joined by my
right hand man. The man formerly
of the U.K.

BARBIE
The voice of the beautiful people
and the cult of personality.
Romeo's choice, the Lionheart
Barbie Richards. Potato man!

INCHER
Oh man. So Barb, it's been a few
weeks since our last show.

BARBIE
A few years since my last show.

INCHER
True, true. What's new with you.

BARBIE
Oh, I don't know. How about
everything!
(laughs)


INCHER
(laughs)
Everything has changed hasn't it.

BARBIE
Well, I got a new penis. That's
certainly different.

INCHER
Yeah, that would be different.

BARBIE
Well it's different to me. Not to
the last person who had it.

22.


INCHER
Well it's different to them, not
to have it anymore.

BARBIE
True.

INCHER
Why don't you tell the people out
there what happened Barb.

BARBIE
Well, I think they know. If they
listened to the last show we did,
they'd know what happened.

INCHER
Run them down.

BARBIE
Turned out Jack was a horrible
person. Called it. Good old Incher.
The good guy, came in and cleaned
house. He cleaned up In Your Heard
like it should've been done years
ago.

INCHER
Thank you, thank you.

BARBIE
Anyway, Jack died.

INCHER
Allegedly.

BARBIE
He came back as a zombie and the
gay fuck bit my dick off. I wanted
to die. When that didn't happen
soon enough, you tugged me off to
the hospital.

INCHER
(laughs)
Tugged you off.

BARBIE
(sexually)
You tugged me off good.

INCHER
(laughs)
Oh yeah.

23.


BARBIE
I wanted to die because what man
wants to live without a dick.

INCHER
Right.

BARBIE
But you convinced me to go to the
ER and see if they could sew a
dick back on for me.

INCHER
I did.

BARBIE
My dick was gone. It was eaten.

INCHER
Chewed up and made into poo.

BARBIE
So you explained we could cut off
Jack's or President Clinton's or
Flea's and have them sew that
onto me.

INCHER
They're able to do amazing things
these days.

BARBIE
Incher, I'd given up on life and
was ready to die. Then you gave
me the hope for life again.

INCHER
The least I could do. So you told
me you wanted the biggest one.

BARBIE
Of course. Who wouldn't?

INCHER
I would.

BARBIE
Yeah. So we checked them all.
Jack's was average.

INCHER
Oh Barb, you're being too nice.
(laughs)

24.


BARBIE
(laughs)
Maybe so. Flea was well...

INCHER
You could tell the two were
brothers.

BARBIE
Definitely. Then we check
President Clinton's. A bit curved
but it'd do.

INCHER
Yep, so I cut that baby off and
got you up to your feet.

BARBIE
Yep.

INCHER
I got Barbie in one arm and my
sword in the other.

BARBIE
I was only carrying my new penis,
compliments of President Clinton.
So we started hauling ass out the
door, going to the ER, when you
noticed something awesome.

INCHER
(laughs)
I didn't expect it.

BARBIE
Tell the people what you saw Incher.

INCHER
Well, from the corner of my eye I
saw Annabelle's headless body
bent over the IYH control center
table.

BARBIE
The one we're speaking to you all
from right now.

INCHER
Yep. And when we were heading out
I had to check out her ass hanging
out there.

25.


BARBIE
Her pants were down past her ass
showing the world. What did you
find when you checked out her ass
Incher.

INCHER
I found out I might indeed be gay.

BARBIE
(laughs)
Indeed.

INCHER
Not really folks, but I wasn't
checking out a woman's ass because
there was a big old massive dong
flopping down between her legs.

BARBIE
Yes there was. I dropped Clinton's
beenie weenie to the ground
immediately when I saw it.

INCHER
I never knew she was a dude.

BARBIE
Well it is Jack buddy.

INCHER
That's true. Annabelle was packing
a twelve incher.

BARBIE
Eh, it's more like eleven after
the transfer to me.

INCHER
Eleven incher ain't bad.

BARBIE
I'll take it.

INCHER
(laughs)
I bet you will.

BARBIE
(laughs)
Yeah.

INCHER
Who do we got on the line?

26.


JIMMY JAM
Why didn't you guys let me call
in the show and listen like I
always do?

INCHER
Jimmy...

BARBIE
Hang up on him Incher.

INCHER
Sorry Jimmy, thanks for listening
but we gotta hang up on you.

BARBIE
That's right, bwahahaha.

INCHER
For those of you who don't know.
Since I cleaned up the IYH studios,
getting rid of Jack and Clinton.

BARBIE
I actually liked Clinton.

INCHER
Barb, agreed to continue the show
if he could clean up the Headyverse.

BARBIE
So Jimmy, Swax and pretty much
anyone else I don't much approve
of, don't bother to call in
because you'll just get hung up on.

INCHER
You're welcome to listen to the
show. You're welcome to participate
on the forums and in the chat rooms.

BARBIE
But we're not going to fill our
airwaves with your nonsense any
more.

INCHER
Sorry guys.

BARBIE
What was I saying?

INCHER
Your new eleven incher.

27.


BARBIE
Oh yeah.

INCHER
I'm jealous.

BARBIE
One thing I didn't think of. When
we got back to the studios. We
realized Annabelle's head was
still alive.

INCHER
See people, I cut off Annabelle's
head at the neck when she was a
zombie. Technically to kill her I
must destroy her brain. So we
kept her head for hilarity.

BARBIE
Yeah but then we decided to knock
her teeth out so she could give
us gummers.

INCHER
The IYH rat.

BARBIE
Yeah. But she's not a real chick.

INCHER
That's true.

BARBIE
Yeah, so should we just get rid
of it? Or fuck a dude.

INCHER
Well she ain't a dude no more.

BARBIE
That's true.

INCHER
It's too late for me. I've done
got three or four gummers from
her over the weekend.

BARBIE
Three or four?

28.


INCHER
Okay, twelve or twenty.
(laughs)


BARBIE
Ah, fuck it. There's no way I'm
not going to fuck her face with
her own dick.

INCHER
Anyway Barb, we didn't come here
to talk about our sexuality. We
came here to talk some Rasslin'.

BARBIE
Indeed we did Incher.

INCHER
Did you watch any wrestling since
last we aired?

BARBIE
I've been stuck in a bed for weeks.
I've done nothing but watch
wrestling.

INCHER
Excellent. If anyone wants to
call the numbers, 508-644-8503.
THE END

_________________
Wrestling fan from 1986-2002, 2013-????
I've always wanted to like wrestling. Sometimes it's just hard.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Sep 06, 2016 4:54 am 
Offline

Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 8:27 am
Posts: 283
Location: London, KY
The Trilogy is complete! I hope someone enjoyed it. I had fun writing it. Good luck to Jack in his recovery.

RTF
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6usKT ... sp=sharing

_________________
Wrestling fan from 1986-2002, 2013-????
I've always wanted to like wrestling. Sometimes it's just hard.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group