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The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!…
http://iyhwrestling.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=33193
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Author:  PiperFan342 [ Sat Dec 08, 2012 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

There are so many great things I could say. Good times, Vann. I love the feel good wrestling threads that don't get trolled over. Somehow we need recordings of these songs.

Author:  Team Ninja [ Sat Dec 08, 2012 6:40 pm ]
Post subject:  The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!…

PiperFan342 wrote:
There are so many great things I could say. Good times, Vann. I love the feel good wrestling threads that don't get trolled over. Somehow we need recordings of these songs.

The Prez and I have a kick starter to record these song ourselves. We need to raise $500,000 and if we get it you can expect the album sometime around 2034.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Author:  President Clinton [ Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

Team Ninja wrote:
PiperFan342 wrote:
There are so many great things I could say. Good times, Vann. I love the feel good wrestling threads that don't get trolled over. Somehow we need recordings of these songs.

The Prez and I have a kick starter to record these song ourselves. We need to raise $500,000 and if we get it you can expect the album sometime around 2034.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Donate generously... just think of the joy that orphan children will get once they hear these tunes.

Author:  Team Ninja [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

President Clinton wrote:
Team Ninja wrote:
PiperFan342 wrote:
There are so many great things I could say. Good times, Vann. I love the feel good wrestling threads that don't get trolled over. Somehow we need recordings of these songs.

The Prez and I have a kick starter to record these song ourselves. We need to raise $500,000 and if we get it you can expect the album sometime around 2034.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Donate generously... just think of the joy that orphan children will get once they hear these tunes.


Well, those orphans ain't getting it for free. They can either donate to the kickstarter like everybody else or miss out.

Author:  Vann [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

On the eighth day of IYH Christmas… THE POWER GOAT (original: THE NATURAL)

INCHER! Great guy, deserves a great song, so I’m glad I could come up with something for THE NATURAL. There are some very, very inside references here, so I'm sure to any non-IYH listener it's going to sound completely ridiculous (Actually... I guess that'd be the case for all of these).

A Few Words About THE NATURAL:

For my money, this is probably best-produced song on the entire album (NOTE: I'm not a music producer, so I really don't know what that even means). I don’t listen to any Country music anymore, but I listened to A LOT back around ’91/’92 (mostly because there was this one girl... *sighs*) but I think this song could easily fit in on any popular country music radio station of that day (sandwiched somewhere between Diamond Rio and Ricky Van Shelton). Aside from one weird phrasing, it’s pretty goddamn solid.




THE POWER GOAT

Well they call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
Powerful as can be
Yeah they call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
He’s built so powerfully
He can lift him ton
Toooooon
And he’s got him a gun
The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH
That’s the powerful one

His aren't easy shoes to fill
'specially when his sole falls away
But he’s a man of courage, strong will
And on the show he has his say
He’s a man of strong convictions
Sometimes he’s full of rage
He said real men do battle
In the Big Blue Cage

Now they call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
Powerful as can be
They call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
Records shows digitally
His colors don’t run
Ruuuuunn
Shoots trick-or-treaters for fun
The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH
That’s the powerful one

Now he’s the one true straight edge
And he’s never been high
On your friendship he wont hedge
And he’s not ever known to lie
Puts beans in his chili
On sushi he will pass
He’s livin’ proof West Virginians don’t finish last

Now they call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
Powerful as can be
Yeah they call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
He does things powerfully
He’s great at his job
Joooooob
Hillbilly Heartthrob
The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH
He’s just naturally suave

I said they call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
Powerful as can be
They call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
He’s built so powerfully
He’s a message board mod
Mooooood
And he's been known to sod
The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH
He's a Headyverse God

Yeah they call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
Powerful as can be
They call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
He's built so powerfully
Now he can't climb a tree
Treeeeeee
But that’s okay with me
The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH
A-K-A O-I-B

Now they call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
Powerful as can be-e-ee
They call him the Power Goat
Powwwwer
He’s just built powerfull-eeeeee
He can lift him a ton
Toooooon
And he’s got him a guuu-un
The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH
That’s the powerful onnnnnne - mm mmm mm

Author:  Boxman [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:20 pm ]
Post subject:  The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!…

These are incredible Vann. Really cool.

Author:  American Splendor [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 5:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

:lol: Great lyrics Vann man. I haven't been around the board that long but I get the vibe from most of the IYH key players. These made me roll a few times. Outstanding

Author:  Vann [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 1:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

On the ninth day of IYH Christmas… THEY’RE FAPPIN’ (original: THE DRAGON)

How do you write a parody of for a song about a monogamous husband and devoted father? Well, if you’re part of the Headyverse, you immediately bastardize into a sweetly sung song about guys that masturbate a lot. I did like the dichotomy of the two different subjects, but I gotta be honest; if I never type the word “fappin’” again it’ll be too soon.

A Few Words About THE DRAGON:

How did this song ever get made? If it were anyone else’s entrance music, the line about only having one girl as a fantasy would have ruined a wrestler's career all by itself… Just amazing. Granted, The Dragon did eventually get divorced. I don’t know if he’s still single, but boy do I hope he whored it up for a while once the papers were signed…




THEY’RE FAPPIN'

Each night in the chatroom, you'll find fappin’ men
Doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter when
Never are they lonely when their hand's their friend
Fappin’ World Order - they’re fappin’

Body can't believe
In the real world
That a man’s only fantasy can be the same girl
Zeros and ones
GIFs and JPEGs
Gives him a swelling between his legs

I’m not sayin’ real women don't fall all over them
But they don't give in
They are fappin’ men

Beef's a Heady member and a fappin’ man
Pumps way more than iron every time he can
To him it’s really not that hard to understand
Ultimate Beefer is fappin’

Afro's daily highlight?
Postin' pics to share
Hardrive collection is beyond compare
Stiff competition to see who'll finish first
But rolling blackouts are the absolute worst

I’m not sayin’ real women don't fall all over them
But they don't give in
They are fappin’ men

Box is a guy with values he’s a family man
Loves his life and always does the best he can
But when no one is lookin’, reaches down ‘n gives hand
IYH Boxman is fappin’

Weebs works hard all day, but when he finds a break
Dreams of new tattoos and then he masturbates
Even in the chatroom he'll find time to spank
Weeble wobbles and then wanks

Fappin’ World Order
Whoo-ee
Fappin’ World Order
Fappin’ World Order, they’re fappin’
fWo oo-ee
They’re Fappin’

Author:  Team Ninja [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

This song continues the string of great ones. However, I do have one complaint. You missed a golden opportunity to rhyme fap with jap.

Author:  Vann [ Tue Dec 11, 2012 3:31 am ]
Post subject:  The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!…

Thanks, Box, Josh, Piper, falyss, Jack, everyone... I really thought that I'd be the only one to get a kick out of them, so I'm glad others are enjoying them, too... And Piper, you're absolutely right. I started watching wrestling because it's fun, and I still find it fun MAINLY because of IYH and this board...

Duane & Pres: Is the kickstarter budget factoring in the cost to track down the original singers?...

Author:  Oneinchbiceps [ Tue Dec 11, 2012 5:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

Awesome Vann. I think the best lyric is he can lift him a ton.

Author:  Vann [ Tue Dec 11, 2012 12:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

Oneinchbiceps wrote:
Awesome Vann. I think the best lyric is he can lift him a ton.

:D

Author:  Vann [ Tue Dec 11, 2012 12:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

On the tenth day of IYH Christmas… AIN’T NO TELLIN’ (original: HES SMOKING)

Oh, MAN, this song was a fuckin’ BEAST to parody, and the last one to actually get done. I went back and forth over who it should be about based on the lyrics, the music, and whom I hadn’t already given a song to, but nothing "really" fit… That being said, I was happy to make a song about Carroll. He’s just such a great guy and one of the nicer folks you’d ever get a chance to meet. Still, if these songs were a wrestling card, this one would be the "popcorn match"...

A Few Words About HE’S SMOKIN’:

I really don’t think the producers tried too hard with this one. There is some serious grasping going on here as to what words actually rhyme (listen as they try to rhyme “fist” with “lariat”). Now, I loved Windham, but his character was pretty bland by the time this came out. What also hurt him was that by '92/'93 he had already switched between face and heel several times, so it was probably hard to get a good sense of what his character was all about (“He’s Smokin’”?... What does that even mean?). Probably the worst written song on the entire album.




AIN’T NO TELLIN’

He’s a belt collector without shame
Gotta a rasslin’ wall-hall of fame
Likes to listen in, lotsa airtime he’ll get
You know I’m talkin’ about Carroll Crock-ett

No tellin’, ain’t no tellin’
Got a Nitro sign that he ain’t sellin’
Never tires, he’s on fire
As TNA Champ he'll probably retire

Wrestlers will call from miles around
And when they do, on the line he'll be found
It always gives Carroll such a thrill
And when Jack goes to callers, he's always on cue
He'll start to tell a story ‘bout how they met
The wrestlers won't remember but Carroll never forgets
Known to thank the wrestlers for all they’ve been through
Has he mentioned Jackie Crockett married his cousin Ruth?

No tellin’, ain’t no tellin’
Got a Nitro sign that he ain’t sellin’
Never tires, he’s on fire
As TNA Champ he'll probably retire

*guitar solo*
*laughter*

*spoken*
You don’t wanna step in the ring w/ the reigning and defending TNA World Champion

*more laughter*

No tellin’, ain’t no tellin’
Got a Nitro sign that he ain’t sellin’
Never tires, he’s on fire
As TNA Champ he'll probably retire

No tellin’, ain’t no tellin’
Got a Nitro sign that he ain’t sellin’
Never tires, he’s on fire
As TNA Champ, he'll probably retire

I said ain’t no-oh-oh-te-elllll-liiiiiiiiiin’

Author:  Vann [ Wed Dec 12, 2012 1:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

On the eleventh (and final) day of IYH Christmas… JACK-E-JONZED (original: STEINERIZED)

C'mon… You all knew it was gonna end like this, right? :) This was gonna be Jack's song even before I started thinking about this project... It had to be... Some very strange phrasings and “loose” rhymes here as well... I tried to pay tribute to all the awkwardness. Hopefully it translates.

A Few Words About STEINERIZED:

What more can you really say about possibly the greatest wrestling theme song in the history of wrestling theme songs?...




JACK-E-JONZED

Here’s the story of an icon
Who shot to the top
Sober as an asshole
Except when he’s not
Started up a website
With his partner O-I-B
Pretenders he’s made mad
Cuz he brought them to their knees

He’s the Internet Icon
There are no safe zones
Just turn on your computer and you'll get
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED

Right from the beginning it was easy to see
Success was a given, now he's built a dynasty
A Masshole with no accent
"Non-descript American"
Had so much success they started up Without Your Head

He’s the Internet Icon
There are no safe zones
Just turn on your computer and you'll get-ah
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JOOO-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OWWWWW

*guitar*

Went on to doing videos and YouTube shows
All around the 'net everybody knows
If you think your show is better and Jack has no appeal
He's probably got more stalkers than you have listeners that are real

He’s the Internet Icon
There are no safe zones
Just turn on your computer and you'll get
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED

Sandwich, Massachusetts
Well that’s where he’s from
Reachin’ for his dream
Podcast ranked number one
Grilling stuff, drinking booze, Dinner & Movie
Outdoor urination, zombie fleshlights, ALL FOR FREE!

He’s the Internet Icon
There are no safe zones
Just turn on your computer and you'll get-ah
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZED
JACK-E-JONZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - yeah

Author:  President Clinton [ Wed Dec 12, 2012 5:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

It is just sad that there isn't a Slam Jam Vol. 2...

I'm going to miss song parody Vann, he is much better than classic douchebag Vann.

Author:  Team Ninja [ Wed Dec 12, 2012 8:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

President Clinton wrote:
It is just sad that there isn't a Slam Jam Vol. 2...

I'm going to miss song parody Vann, he is much better than classic douchebag Vann.


I'm glad it's over. I was starting to think that maybe he wasn't just completely worthless and horrible as a human being. I didn't like how that felt. Screw you, Vann..but you wrote some damn good songs.

Author:  Jack [ Wed Dec 12, 2012 10:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

Amazing.

Author:  norrinradd [ Wed Dec 12, 2012 11:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

Quality thread. 5-star classic.

Author:  Vann [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 3:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

Team Ninja wrote:
President Clinton wrote:
It is just sad that there isn't a Slam Jam Vol. 2...

I'm going to miss song parody Vann, he is much better than classic douchebag Vann.


I'm glad it's over. I was starting to think that maybe he wasn't just completely worthless and horrible as a human being. I didn't like how that felt. Screw you, Vann..but you wrote some damn good songs.


Duly noted...

As an aside, while I said that "He's Smoking" was the most difficult to write, "Team Clinton Member" was definitely the hardest on me personally... All the other songs were "about" other people, but the TC song was supposed to be a duet sung by you guys so I had to try to put myself in your minds, trying to think like you... It was a very dark place and during the entire writing process I was pretty much a huge dick-hole to everyone around me...

Author:  Chrislevett [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

I think we're gonna get a version of jack e jonzed by the man himself at some point. As a songwriter myself (I cowrote a little tune called 'bound for glory' you may have heard of) my cap is doffed. Man called swax is the funniest, in my opinion...

Author:  Jack [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

Chrislevett wrote:
I think we're gonna get a version of jack e jonzed by the man himself at some point. As a songwriter myself (I cowrote a little tune called 'bound for glory' you may have heard of) my cap is doffed. Man called swax is the funniest, in my opinion...

All I gotta say is, listen to this week's show Chris, listen to this week's show...

Author:  Chrislevett [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 11:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

I'm downloading it now. Feeling strangely nervous...

Author:  Chrislevett [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 11:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

There it is, right there on iTunes. Jack e jonzed. I just broke into spontaneous applause and got a strange look from everyone in the pub I'm in...

Author:  Vann [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 9:13 pm ]
Post subject:  The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!…

Thanks, Chris... Still can't believe Jack sang them all... Frickin' ironman...

Author:  pipebomb [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The 11 Days of IYH Christmas… WCW Slam Jam Vol. 1 Style!

good stuff vann must of took alittle time and effort to write all these songs for the freaking internet icon to share with us on the show i must say the jackie e jones song is fucking amazing would be nice if u could record a studio version of it to share

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