Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2011 5:00 am Posts: 942 Location: Chicago, IL
There are so many great things I could say. Good times, Vann. I love the feel good wrestling threads that don't get trolled over. Somehow we need recordings of these songs.
_________________ "Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions." "When I'm good I'm good, when I'm bad I'm better, when I'm better I'm the best." Piper
There are so many great things I could say. Good times, Vann. I love the feel good wrestling threads that don't get trolled over. Somehow we need recordings of these songs.
The Prez and I have a kick starter to record these song ourselves. We need to raise $500,000 and if we get it you can expect the album sometime around 2034.
Joined: Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:37 pm Posts: 7709 Location: Chappaqua, New York
Team Ninja wrote:
PiperFan342 wrote:
There are so many great things I could say. Good times, Vann. I love the feel good wrestling threads that don't get trolled over. Somehow we need recordings of these songs.
The Prez and I have a kick starter to record these song ourselves. We need to raise $500,000 and if we get it you can expect the album sometime around 2034.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Donate generously... just think of the joy that orphan children will get once they hear these tunes.
There are so many great things I could say. Good times, Vann. I love the feel good wrestling threads that don't get trolled over. Somehow we need recordings of these songs.
The Prez and I have a kick starter to record these song ourselves. We need to raise $500,000 and if we get it you can expect the album sometime around 2034.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Donate generously... just think of the joy that orphan children will get once they hear these tunes.
Well, those orphans ain't getting it for free. They can either donate to the kickstarter like everybody else or miss out.
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 9:48 am Posts: 4933 Location: San Antone...
On the eighth day of IYH Christmas… THE POWER GOAT(original: THE NATURAL)
INCHER! Great guy, deserves a great song, so I’m glad I could come up with something for THE NATURAL. There are some very, very inside references here, so I'm sure to any non-IYH listener it's going to sound completely ridiculous (Actually... I guess that'd be the case for all of these).
A Few Words About THE NATURAL:
For my money, this is probably best-produced song on the entire album (NOTE: I'm not a music producer, so I really don't know what that even means). I don’t listen to any Country music anymore, but I listened to A LOT back around ’91/’92 (mostly because there was this one girl... *sighs*) but I think this song could easily fit in on any popular country music radio station of that day (sandwiched somewhere between Diamond Rio and Ricky Van Shelton). Aside from one weird phrasing, it’s pretty goddamn solid.
THE POWER GOAT
Well they call him the Power Goat Powwwwer Powerful as can be Yeah they call him the Power Goat Powwwwer He’s built so powerfully He can lift him ton Toooooon And he’s got him a gun The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH That’s the powerful one
His aren't easy shoes to fill 'specially when his sole falls away But he’s a man of courage, strong will And on the show he has his say He’s a man of strong convictions Sometimes he’s full of rage He said real men do battle In the Big Blue Cage
Now they call him the Power Goat Powwwwer Powerful as can be They call him the Power Goat Powwwwer Records shows digitally His colors don’t run Ruuuuunn Shoots trick-or-treaters for fun The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH That’s the powerful one
Now he’s the one true straight edge And he’s never been high On your friendship he wont hedge And he’s not ever known to lie Puts beans in his chili On sushi he will pass He’s livin’ proof West Virginians don’t finish last
Now they call him the Power Goat Powwwwer Powerful as can be Yeah they call him the Power Goat Powwwwer He does things powerfully He’s great at his job Joooooob Hillbilly Heartthrob The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH He’s just naturally suave
I said they call him the Power Goat Powwwwer Powerful as can be They call him the Power Goat Powwwwer He’s built so powerfully He’s a message board mod Mooooood And he's been known to sod The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH He's a Headyverse God
Yeah they call him the Power Goat Powwwwer Powerful as can be They call him the Power Goat Powwwwer He's built so powerfully Now he can't climb a tree Treeeeeee But that’s okay with me The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH A-K-A O-I-B
Now they call him the Power Goat Powwwwer Powerful as can be-e-ee They call him the Power Goat Powwwwer He’s just built powerfull-eeeeee He can lift him a ton Toooooon And he’s got him a guuu-un The master of the mighty BAAAAAHHH That’s the powerful onnnnnne - mm mmm mm
_________________ Donny: "It's Dirk fucking Benedict!"... Dirk: "I seldom use my middle name."
Joined: Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:55 am Posts: 859 Location: Ohio
Great lyrics Vann man. I haven't been around the board that long but I get the vibe from most of the IYH key players. These made me roll a few times. Outstanding
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 9:48 am Posts: 4933 Location: San Antone...
On the ninth day of IYH Christmas… THEY’RE FAPPIN’(original: THE DRAGON)
How do you write a parody of for a song about a monogamous husband and devoted father? Well, if you’re part of the Headyverse, you immediately bastardize into a sweetly sung song about guys that masturbate a lot. I did like the dichotomy of the two different subjects, but I gotta be honest; if I never type the word “fappin’” again it’ll be too soon.
A Few Words About THE DRAGON:
How did this song ever get made? If it were anyone else’s entrance music, the line about only having one girl as a fantasy would have ruined a wrestler's career all by itself… Just amazing. Granted, The Dragon did eventually get divorced. I don’t know if he’s still single, but boy do I hope he whored it up for a while once the papers were signed…
THEY’RE FAPPIN'
Each night in the chatroom, you'll find fappin’ men Doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter when Never are they lonely when their hand's their friend Fappin’ World Order - they’re fappin’
Body can't believe In the real world That a man’s only fantasy can be the same girl Zeros and ones GIFs and JPEGs Gives him a swelling between his legs
I’m not sayin’ real women don't fall all over them But they don't give in They are fappin’ men
Beef's a Heady member and a fappin’ man Pumps way more than iron every time he can To him it’s really not that hard to understand Ultimate Beefer is fappin’
Afro's daily highlight? Postin' pics to share Hardrive collection is beyond compare Stiff competition to see who'll finish first But rolling blackouts are the absolute worst
I’m not sayin’ real women don't fall all over them But they don't give in They are fappin’ men
Box is a guy with values he’s a family man Loves his life and always does the best he can But when no one is lookin’, reaches down ‘n gives hand IYH Boxman is fappin’
Weebs works hard all day, but when he finds a break Dreams of new tattoos and then he masturbates Even in the chatroom he'll find time to spank Weeble wobbles and then wanks
Fappin’ World Order Whoo-ee Fappin’ World Order Fappin’ World Order, they’re fappin’ fWo oo-ee They’re Fappin’
_________________ Donny: "It's Dirk fucking Benedict!"... Dirk: "I seldom use my middle name."
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 9:48 am Posts: 4933 Location: San Antone...
Thanks, Box, Josh, Piper, falyss, Jack, everyone... I really thought that I'd be the only one to get a kick out of them, so I'm glad others are enjoying them, too... And Piper, you're absolutely right. I started watching wrestling because it's fun, and I still find it fun MAINLY because of IYH and this board...
Duane & Pres: Is the kickstarter budget factoring in the cost to track down the original singers?...
_________________ Donny: "It's Dirk fucking Benedict!"... Dirk: "I seldom use my middle name."
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 9:48 am Posts: 4933 Location: San Antone...
On the tenth day of IYH Christmas… AIN’T NO TELLIN’ (original: HES SMOKING)
Oh, MAN, this song was a fuckin’ BEAST to parody, and the last one to actually get done. I went back and forth over who it should be about based on the lyrics, the music, and whom I hadn’t already given a song to, but nothing "really" fit… That being said, I was happy to make a song about Carroll. He’s just such a great guy and one of the nicer folks you’d ever get a chance to meet. Still, if these songs were a wrestling card, this one would be the "popcorn match"...
A Few Words About HE’S SMOKIN’:
I really don’t think the producers tried too hard with this one. There is some serious grasping going on here as to what words actually rhyme (listen as they try to rhyme “fist” with “lariat”). Now, I loved Windham, but his character was pretty bland by the time this came out. What also hurt him was that by '92/'93 he had already switched between face and heel several times, so it was probably hard to get a good sense of what his character was all about (“He’s Smokin’”?... What does that even mean?). Probably the worst written song on the entire album.
AIN’T NO TELLIN’
He’s a belt collector without shame Gotta a rasslin’ wall-hall of fame Likes to listen in, lotsa airtime he’ll get You know I’m talkin’ about Carroll Crock-ett
No tellin’, ain’t no tellin’ Got a Nitro sign that he ain’t sellin’ Never tires, he’s on fire As TNA Champ he'll probably retire
Wrestlers will call from miles around And when they do, on the line he'll be found It always gives Carroll such a thrill And when Jack goes to callers, he's always on cue He'll start to tell a story ‘bout how they met The wrestlers won't remember but Carroll never forgets Known to thank the wrestlers for all they’ve been through Has he mentioned Jackie Crockett married his cousin Ruth?
No tellin’, ain’t no tellin’ Got a Nitro sign that he ain’t sellin’ Never tires, he’s on fire As TNA Champ he'll probably retire
*guitar solo* *laughter*
*spoken* You don’t wanna step in the ring w/ the reigning and defending TNA World Champion
*more laughter*
No tellin’, ain’t no tellin’ Got a Nitro sign that he ain’t sellin’ Never tires, he’s on fire As TNA Champ he'll probably retire
No tellin’, ain’t no tellin’ Got a Nitro sign that he ain’t sellin’ Never tires, he’s on fire As TNA Champ, he'll probably retire
I said ain’t no-oh-oh-te-elllll-liiiiiiiiiin’
_________________ Donny: "It's Dirk fucking Benedict!"... Dirk: "I seldom use my middle name."
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 9:48 am Posts: 4933 Location: San Antone...
On the eleventh (and final) day of IYH Christmas… JACK-E-JONZED (original: STEINERIZED)
C'mon… You all knew it was gonna end like this, right? This was gonna be Jack's song even before I started thinking about this project... It had to be... Some very strange phrasings and “loose” rhymes here as well... I tried to pay tribute to all the awkwardness. Hopefully it translates.
A Few Words About STEINERIZED:
What more can you really say about possibly the greatest wrestling theme song in the history of wrestling theme songs?...
JACK-E-JONZED
Here’s the story of an icon Who shot to the top Sober as an asshole Except when he’s not Started up a website With his partner O-I-B Pretenders he’s made mad Cuz he brought them to their knees
He’s the Internet Icon There are no safe zones Just turn on your computer and you'll get JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED
Right from the beginning it was easy to see Success was a given, now he's built a dynasty A Masshole with no accent "Non-descript American" Had so much success they started up Without Your Head
He’s the Internet Icon There are no safe zones Just turn on your computer and you'll get-ah JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JOOO-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OWWWWW
*guitar*
Went on to doing videos and YouTube shows All around the 'net everybody knows If you think your show is better and Jack has no appeal He's probably got more stalkers than you have listeners that are real
He’s the Internet Icon There are no safe zones Just turn on your computer and you'll get JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED
Sandwich, Massachusetts Well that’s where he’s from Reachin’ for his dream Podcast ranked number one Grilling stuff, drinking booze, Dinner & Movie Outdoor urination, zombie fleshlights, ALL FOR FREE!
He’s the Internet Icon There are no safe zones Just turn on your computer and you'll get-ah JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZED JACK-E-JONZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - yeah
_________________ Donny: "It's Dirk fucking Benedict!"... Dirk: "I seldom use my middle name."
It is just sad that there isn't a Slam Jam Vol. 2...
I'm going to miss song parody Vann, he is much better than classic douchebag Vann.
I'm glad it's over. I was starting to think that maybe he wasn't just completely worthless and horrible as a human being. I didn't like how that felt. Screw you, Vann..but you wrote some damn good songs.
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 9:48 am Posts: 4933 Location: San Antone...
Team Ninja wrote:
President Clinton wrote:
It is just sad that there isn't a Slam Jam Vol. 2...
I'm going to miss song parody Vann, he is much better than classic douchebag Vann.
I'm glad it's over. I was starting to think that maybe he wasn't just completely worthless and horrible as a human being. I didn't like how that felt. Screw you, Vann..but you wrote some damn good songs.
Duly noted...
As an aside, while I said that "He's Smoking" was the most difficult to write, "Team Clinton Member" was definitely the hardest on me personally... All the other songs were "about" other people, but the TC song was supposed to be a duet sung by you guys so I had to try to put myself in your minds, trying to think like you... It was a very dark place and during the entire writing process I was pretty much a huge dick-hole to everyone around me...
_________________ Donny: "It's Dirk fucking Benedict!"... Dirk: "I seldom use my middle name."
I think we're gonna get a version of jack e jonzed by the man himself at some point. As a songwriter myself (I cowrote a little tune called 'bound for glory' you may have heard of) my cap is doffed. Man called swax is the funniest, in my opinion...
I think we're gonna get a version of jack e jonzed by the man himself at some point. As a songwriter myself (I cowrote a little tune called 'bound for glory' you may have heard of) my cap is doffed. Man called swax is the funniest, in my opinion...
All I gotta say is, listen to this week's show Chris, listen to this week's show...
Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:47 am Posts: 110 Location: The U.K
good stuff vann must of took alittle time and effort to write all these songs for the freaking internet icon to share with us on the show i must say the jackie e jones song is fucking amazing would be nice if u could record a studio version of it to share
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Great lyrics Vann man. I haven't been around the board that long but I get the vibe from most of the IYH key players. These made me roll a few times. Outstanding
This was gonna be Jack's song even before I started thinking about this project... It had to be... Some very strange phrasings and “loose” rhymes here as well... I tried to pay tribute to all the awkwardness. Hopefully it translates.