IYHWrestling.com | WithoutYourHead.com

Welcome to In Your Head! Wrestling podcast, news and community!

Fabulously RAW - Issue 003 (May 30th, 2005)

Posted in In My Head by Tyler at 18:06, May 30 2005

by Captain Stratusfied

HERE I AM AGAIN. Yes, your favorite RAW reporter is back with this week's look back at WWE Monday Night RAW. Quite a few things to cover, and some strong opinions and points to get to. Did Viscera take Lilian Garcia to the love shack, or is the saucy ring announcer still tin roof-rusted? Should Kane be thrown a bottle and be forced to wear a gigantic diaper to go with his new-found soft spot? Will Chris Jericho manage to pull yours truly back on board with the remaining Jerichoholics? How hard did Edge really Spear Lita? Can Christian pull of the best promo in RAW history? And is RAW still Triple H? All these topics and more will be addressed by your favorite Captain (not under WWE contract) if you will just read on. But? please? drink a Simon Shake first. Fatties need not proceed.

The opening segment of this week's show is a *very special* bikini contest involving the *very special* RAW Divas. Jerry "The King" Lawler is in the ring and is the host and judge for the contest. He welcomes Christy Hemme to the ring first, and despite reports that have gone up on other sites that say she got a "huge pop", I heard a pretty good amount of boos. Those Canadians usually know what they're talking about. Candice Michelle is next out, followed by Maria, who both get practically no reaction whatsoever. Gawd. As attractive as these three women are, and although I find myself enjoying Maria's new dumb gimmick and Candice's? other qualities, I've just about had it with the eye candy in the company. That said, I at least like to look at these women, and the new Divas on SmackDown! are all an eyesore. Anyway, next is Victoria, who, again, despite reports from other sites, I think got little to no reaction. Which was odd in the first place, considering she's the only one introduced so far that has any talent. Finally, Lilian Garcia is introduced as competing in her first swimsuit competition. The King says Lilian is up first, but as soon as she is about to disrobe, the hip music of BIG VIS hits. Here comes the man of the moment, again decked out in a suit. The King offers Viscera the opportunity to help him judge the contest, but he passes and seizes the opportunity in front of him, hoisting Lilian up and carrying her to the back. The contest continues and none of the Divas get a mentionable reaction except for Christy, who this time, DID get a pop. Might I add, she had to take her clothes off to get it. The King announces Christy as the winner and the other girls congratulate her? except Victoria. Victoria is visibly upset, and proceeds to whip some Diva Search ASS. She knocks Candice out of the ring and kicks the stupid out of Maria. She launches for Christy and lays into her with straight punches. The King tries twice to pull her off Christy, and the second time Vickie kicks him right in his royal home entertainment center. She picks Christy back up and nails her with the Widow's Peak. She leaves Jerry Lawler and a whole bunch of uselessness laying in the ring. Thank you, Vince. Now, let's jump on top of getting her a new theme song.

Backstage, Todd Grisham asks Victoria about what just went down in the ring. She is freaking out. She says she is sick of Christy Hemme. Christy gets everything, even WrestleMania 21. She says it should have been her, dammit! And dammit, I totally fucking agree! Can I say that? Well, I did. Vickie says she hates Christy, and I'm loving every minute of this. I hope she snaps and goes crazy again. She needs Stevie back. God, I miss those two together.

Uhhh? do I have to review this match? The Heart Throbs VS The Hurricane and Rosey. I'm not sure what to think about the Heart Throbs. I'm not sure what to think about Stacy wearing a damn mask every week and teaming with The Hurricane and Rosey. I'm not sure what to think about The Hurricane and Rosey as the Tag Team Champions. The Heart Throbs are supposed to be very good-looking, I'm supposing, but I just don't think Antonio lives up to that. I didn't think Romeo was that much of a looker at first, but he's growing on me. He still kind of resembles a cartoon character with those facial expressions, though. I love their gimmick, but really? it should be for attractive people only. I don't really know if this was a good match, I can't say I paid that much attention to it, but I know the champions retain the gold.

Batista now arrives? and he is PISSED. After the commercial, he's shown speaking with Eric Bischoff, who says Triple H isn't there tonight (whew) but he will be interviewed by Jim Ross via satellite (damn). Batista tells Eric that he accepts Triple H's Hell In A Cell challenge, and he wants to put the match in writing. So, next week, we will bare witness to the 675th in-ring contract signing in WWE history involving Triple H. Then, at Vengeance, we will witness a Triple H feud culminate in a Hell In A Cell match for the 983rd time. Muhammad Hassan and Daivari barge into Eric's office at this time, pissed, like the rest of us, that Triple H gets another World Heavyweight Title shot after losing twice in a row to Batista. Batista gets all up in Muhammad's business and challenges him to a match later in the night. Muhammad walks away, but Daivari gets up in Batista's face and starts going on about? something. Batista slaps the God out of him. Shew. Pick on someone your own size, big man.

Shelton Benjamin puts his Intercontinental Title on the line now against Sylvain Grenier and Robert Conway in a triple threat match. Coma. It's almost a disgrace for Shelton to still have the title. I'm not taking anything away from the guy's in-ring performance, but he's just not interesting. I can't figure out for the life of my why he gets cheered every week. Even the Canadians cheered him. I don't mind the storyline going on with La Resistance, but this match was just way too Sunday Night Heat for me. It pretty much served no purpose other than to make Shelty look good and to have something to do with Grenier and Conway. Shelton takes advantage of a disagreement between the former Tag Team Champions and picks up a victory using the lamest finishing move on RAW, the T-Bone Suplex.

Now it's time for Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel! Jericho finally picked up business in this segment. His mic work was finally back up to par, and he had me drunk with Jerichohol. He announced that next week on the Highlight Reel, since next week is the beginning of the draft lottery, he would interview the very first person to be drafted from SmackDown! to RAW. He then introduced his first guest for tonight's show, Kane. Kane made his way down to the ring for the show and Jericho began to ask the tough questions, but Kane wasn't responding. After much nagging, Kane seemed as if he'd snapped and began stalking Jericho. Edge then appeared on the Titan Tron and asked Kane how it felt to be Speared by him a couple of weeks ago, then asked how it felt to know Edge has been Spearing his wife for months now behind his back. God. I love Edge. He says he's not sorry for what he's done, then welcomes Lita into the scene, stating that unlike Kane, he will not put his girl in harm's way by letting her come to the ring alone. He's a real man. Now we see Lita, who proceeds to give the best promo of her career. Her facial expressions were priceless, and she even imitated Kane's ridiculous laugh. God. I love Lita. She announces that she has filed for divorce, officially making Kane her EX-husband. She and Edge walk over to a toilet and tease dropping the wedding ring into it. After much grief, Lita finally mustered up the courage to drop the ring into the toilet and free her innocent self. The two then make out, hardcore. As if you thought they'd go an entire show without doing it. God. I love Edge and Lita. And Incher does, too. He just doesn't know it yet.

Eric Bischoff walks out with a microphone and rants about how ECW is dead again. Blah, blah. Not interested. He then says that he is sanctioning the table match tonight because he wants to prove that he can out-ECW ECW any day. He then announces that Edge is his newest crusader in the fight against ECW, and welcomes him to the ring for the table match. Edge's music hits, and NOW I am interested. Very interested. The King and Queen of the WWE make their way to the ring, looking only as they can: FABULOUS. Enter Benoit. This is normally where I make a food or bathroom run, but since he's fighting Edge, I stayed. This was a pretty good match to me. Lots of close calls. I was on the EDGE of my seat. Har har. At one point, Lita ran in and moved a table out of the way, saving Edge from losing the match. As the match goes on, Benoit goes up for a diving head butt, but Lita knocks him off the top rope, and Bischoff signals for more crusaders to come to Edge's aid. Tyson Tomko and Maven run to the ring, followed by a returning Gene Snitsky. Together, Bischoff's team destroys Chris Benoit, allowing Edge to Powerbomb him through the table and win the match. Lita climbs into the ring to celebrate with them and Bischoff stands in front of them, proclaiming this is just a sample of what ECW has to look forward too. Well, at least some interesting people are involved in this angle now. God. I love Edge and Lita.

Next is a very disappointing segment for me. J.R. interviews Triple H via satellite. I'm okay with this at first, but then the audience began chanting "Boring". Like I said, those Canadians know what they're talking about. After a minute or so of the "boring" chants, the audio of the crowd was cut off, so we would have to sit through this god-awful promo we've heard before every single Hell In A Cell match involving Triple H, which is damn near all of them. The fact that they went to these lengths to protect Hunter quite frankly pissed me off, so I turned the channel for the remainder of the promo.

And I return to RAW to witness the Masterlock Challenge. Feel the enthusiasm. This week, Chris Masters opens the challenge to anyone in the locker room instead of anyone in the audience. Val Venis answers. I stop paying attention again. I look back at the television to see Val passing out after apparently putting up a good fight. I have absolutely nothing to say about this.

Next up is the highlight of the show. Christian makes a very special appearance, with a new tron video to go along with the already best theme song in WWE history. Now, I'm sure you're aware by now that I'm a long-time Christian fan, and unlike most of these Peep wannabes that came into the picture within the past couple of months when Captain Charisma starting getting his push, I remember most of the promos he's ever done. However, every time he opens his mouth, it just keeps getting better and better. The man managed to finally get someone to boo John Cena. God knows I've been booing Cena for a long time now, but I'm obviously in the minority. He talks about the possibility of getting drafted to SmackDown! again. This is scaring me. SmackDown! does NOT need Christian. RAW needs Christian. Christian needs RAW. We don't need our hero to be sent to Friday night television just to job to John Cena for the next year. He'd obviously get a bigger push on the show, but let's face it, folks. A push on SmackDown! means nothing compared to a push on RAW. All signs point to the worst happening, but a guy can still dream, right?

It's time for the main event and Batista has a new theme song. Now, when Muhammad and Daivari were making their way out, I was seriously hoping they would show Batista up, but I have to admit once I heard Batista's new theme song and saw his new entrance, I was sold on the big man again. This was an okay match that ended in a disqualification, much to the dismay of the audience. However, I was happy with the ending, since Muhammad still keeps his winning streak. Batista got himself disqualified when he snapped and wouldn't let up off Muhammad in the corner by the count of 5. He brutally attacked Muhammad and Daivari, leaving them bloodied in the ring and apparently sending a message to Sir Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Pretty good ending to a pretty good show. Not as a good as last week's, and last week's wasn't as good as the week's before, but I expect it to pick back up next week when the month-long (and possibly disastrous) draft lottery begins from St. Louis, Missouri. Hopefully, a certain Legend Killer will make another special appearance.

E-mail me with your questions and/or comments at the address below, and always remember to stay FABULOUS.


User Comments

World Champ

LOOT: 11485
Joined: Apr 07 2014
Posts: 5946

14:21, Apr 16 2014

Travelers expect to leave unused vacation days on the table in 2013 and even when they do take the time to travel, struggle to leave the stress of work at the office. Noting the large number of suitcases and plastic containers (for the medicines) carefully labeled with large orange stickers indicating that this was a volunteer medical mission the group was soon approached by a customs agent..
discount Nike Air Presto
discount Nike ACG Rongbuk
discount Nike free 3.0 V5
discount Nike Free 3.0 V4
discount Jordan 5 (W)(Glow in the dark)

PPV Star

LOOT: 170
Joined: Apr 09 2014
Posts: 103

18:56, Apr 20 2014

One moncler outlet could chaussures louboutin argue Atget's choice of subject matter Canada Goose Outlet indicates polo shirts a longchamp outlet desire to present symbolic mulberry outlet meaning. "Surrealists such as Man Ray coach outlet were fascinated by prada outlet Atget's images air max of dreamlike canada goose urban spaces." chi hair straighteners (ICP: Museum) toms shoes Yet Atget persisted that he was not an Canada Goose artist.

As much as louis vuitton handbags Atget's prada handbags photographs are a marc jacobs handbags brilliant official record, it is safe canada goose uk to retrodict that Lancel his approach was more celine bags than ralph lauren purely timberland clinical, michael kors outlet detached ray ban outlet of parajumpers jackets ideology or entirely louis vuitton outlet absent of mcm handbags sentiment. Atget "â?¦had longchamp the ability scarpe hogan to inject red bottom heels a tragic quality into ordinary tory burch outlet things." coach outlet (Museum longchamp of Photographic Arts).

It's hard true religion outlet to christian louboutin outlet believe that north face jacket these magnificent photographs of fin de siècle French culture could ralph lauren be replica watches devoid ugg outlet of scarpe hogan deliberate artistic intention. coach outlet His photographic studies insanity calendar of juicy couture the gucci shoes opulent ferragamo shoes gardens surrounding true religion jeans Paris burberry outlet are Canada Goose in direct contrast with the images cheap oakley sunglasses of prostitutes and rag pickers that on rare occasion populate his images of the poorer neighborhoods. One might oakley sunglasses assume ghd hair straighteners Atget was louboutin outlet offering Canada Goose Outlet social coach outlet commentary as well true religion as making an effort louis vuitton borse to be thorough.

World Champ

LOOT: 11485
Joined: Apr 07 2014
Posts: 5946

20:48, May 26 2014

Then they tell us about PTSD and it's like, 'Oh yeah. K adventure with her current golden private medical insurance. But his visions were nothing compared with those experienced by Akhenaten. If you're constipated from lack of fiber in your diet or from taking any medications or calcium supplements, the banana can relieve constipation..
nike free run womens
Nike Air Max 95 Uomo
discount Nike Shox R6 II
nike id air max 1
black nike air max 1
nhl replica jerseys

World Champ

LOOT: 5385
Joined: Jul 09 2014
Posts: 2690

20:13, Jul 09 2014

excellent. one of the best articles I have every read. This is the information which I have been searching. Great information. Bags Handbags | Ladies Bags | Designer Bags | Rivertrees Residences | Rivertrees Condo | Rivertrees | Pollen & Bleu | Pollen and Bleu | Coco Palms | Coco Palms Condo | Coco Palms Pasir Ris | The Rise @ Oxley | The Rise @ Oxley Residences | Rise @ Oxley | The Rise at Oxley this article is worth bookmarking. keep it up. Thanks for sharing!

PPV Star

LOOT: 175
Joined: Jul 25 2014
Posts: 118

01:00, Aug 07 2014

Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt, and Richard Nixon all famously tried to

pack the victoria secret uk online with

Justices who would vote their bidding, yet many of their nominees

victoria secret uk stores turned out to

be unpredictable. But thanks to careful vetting of potential nominees by

presidents of both parties, the current Supreme Court is the first

victoria's secret uk in history in which

all Republican nominees are conservative and all Democratic nominees are

liberals. So the party affiliation of the president who makes judicial

nominations is enormously important.
One of maillot de bain pas cher the

women’s rights groups that has been pursuing completely open access to all

versions of Plan B — the Center for Reproductive Rights — said in a

maillot de bain femme pas cher

statement Monday that it welcomed the new initiative by FDA, but added that “we

will continue to fight for fair treatment for women who want and need more

affordable options…The victoria secret

maillot de bain
administration continues to unjustifiably deny the same

wide availability for generic, more affordable brands of emergency


World Champ

LOOT: 6180
Joined: Mar 01 2018
Posts: 2972

05:59, Mar 03 2018

Unique style of their own design, Cheap Name Necklace, free shipping guarantee long-lasting fade. Unique styling, hard materials, for you to create the most stylish design, only from Infinity Name Necklace 60 day refund. In the design process, the use of polishing machine, after several processes to be made into Gold Name Necklace won the public praise. Exclusive custom for His And Hers Necklaces give sincere friendship to each other. Affordable and good quality, rest assured to buy Gold Initial Necklaces customer praise praise like. Give Mom the best birthday gift Birthstone Necklace For Mom with the fastest delivery speed. Free shipping customized Monogram Necklace Gold 60 day refund. Friendship between friends forever Friendship Necklaces For 2 friendship memorial necklace. Professional hand-made love Couple Necklace Set unique sense of the necklace. Nice and cheap Gold Nameplate Necklaces personal charisma necklace. Most customers choose Personalized Name Necklace Gold free shipping. Symbol of maternal love necklace Mother Daughter Necklace Set symbol of love necklace. Give girlfriend a unique gift Necklaces For Girlfriend personal custom necklace. The best choice for Christmas gifts, carve your name Customized Necklace For Her necklace with right and meaning. Cute and pretty Paw Print Necklace with gold smooth surface. Do you like this name necklace it 14K Gold Bar Necklace highlight the temperament of the girls necklace. Elegant and elegant carved name necklace Gold Necklaces For Women I believe you will like it. Unique style of the necklace Custom Name Necklace name engraved electroplated necklace. A variety of styles, you can choose and engrave your name Necklace With Name Gold a beautiful and unique gift. 100% of the factory price, never charge any intermediary Buy Bar Necklace 180 days do not fade. A variety of monogram name design Buy Monogram Necklace. Do you love this name necklace it Buy Personalized Necklace worn on the body to show your charm.

Quick Reply

Sorry, commenting is currently disabled.


Summerlam 2014






Didn't see it

View results

Follow IYH on Twitter Subscribe to IYH on iTunes
WRESTLERS on twitter  
Upcoming Events